


Daffodils

by KuroKairin



Category: Dandelion: Wishes Brought to You (Video Game), Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Depression, F/M, Gen, Meltdown, Paranoia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2021-01-21 03:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21292784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroKairin/pseuds/KuroKairin
Summary: Written for "Penumbra: A Rika Fanzine"Collab Artist: MsGenny
Relationships: Kim Yoosung & Rika, Rika & Sally, Rika/V | Kim Jihyun
Kudos: 7





	Daffodils

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "Penumbra: A Rika Fanzine"  
Collab Artist: MsGenny

Spring.

Mellow sunlight sprinkles brilliance on life sprouted from the lush green earth anew. Floral fragrance wafts through the air, attracting butterflies fluttering along to the tree birds’ harmonious chorus. Like fresh paint, bright colours dot the landscape of this small town situated away from the hubbub of the big cities.

It is eight in the morning as the young man flips the flower shop’s sign from “Closed” to “Open” and walks back to the counter. He takes a sip from his cup of peppermint tea; the refreshing taste of the drink livens up his senses just as how fresh air breathes life into the vibrant flowers on display in his humble shop. A cool breeze enters through an open window, brushing past the wind chimes that sing a melodious tune. The florist’s white hair dances in the light breeze like white florets on a dandelion and his violet eyes look toward the main entrance with anticipation. He senses that someone will be coming today.

For him, visitors are rare because not just anyone can simply enter his unique shop. The flowers he sells may look no different from the normal flowers available elsewhere but they hold a secret power that cannot be paid with ordinary currency. Only those who have a desperate wish waiting to be fulfilled will be able to open the door to his shop.

“Excuse me?” A young woman speaks from behind the entrance door that is being slowly swung open. Morning air sweeps into the shop through the widening gap and fills the room with a subtle scent of daffodils.

“Welcome! Welcome!” The male florist springs to his feet and greets his visitor with a big cheerful grin. He may not have many visitors every year but he still hones his customer service skills diligently during his free time.

As she saunters in, the blonde lady tucks some of her wavy hair behind her ear. She takes a quick glance around the shop, her emerald eyes sparkling with a hint of awe, before she looks at the man who has just greeted her.

“How may I help you today, Miss?” His honeyed voice is filled with excitement and eagerness.

“Well,” she blushes slightly under his unwavering gaze. “It’s my last day here in this town. I’d like to bring something back for my…” She pauses, hesitating to complete her sentence.

“Family and friends?”

She nods silently, her smile somewhat sorrowful.

“I understand.” He gives a knowing nod in response and walks to one of the display shelves along the wall. After swiftly looking through the floral collection on the shelf, he grabs a bunch of bright yellow daffodils and turns back to her. “I’ll recommend daffodils. They symbolise rebirth and new beginnings.”

“New beginnings…” She repeats his words thoughtfully.

“That’s right. Go back and start anew with your family and friends.”

“I—” Startled by his keen insight, she has the sudden impulse to deny his assumption. However, she stops herself when she realises that further argument will likely prove his assumption right rather than wrong. Quickly, she regains her composure. “I’ll buy these, then.”

“Since you’re returning home, I’ll wrap them up using our town’s souvenir wrapper.”

“Ah, thank you.” She fumbles through her handbag as she speaks. “How much for these daffodils?”

“Six memories for six daffodils, Miss.”

“Six… What?” She looks up at him bizarrely.

“Don’t worry about it, Miss. Your tab will be paid once you finally reach home.” He smiles warmly as he hands the nicely wrapped bouquet to her. “Now, you hold your fate in your hands. Good luck!”

**— VI —**  
_ Six daffodils dancing for him and me _

“Please don’t do this, Rika.” The teal haired man pleads while kneeling in front of me. His sorrowful turquoise eyes are misty. A full-grown man, my fiancé, is on his knees begging for me to reconsider my choice. This is…

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ Absurdly pathetic. How can he be my Sun if he is this weak? _  
[X] _ Heartbreaking. What have I been thinking to turn my back on them and on him? _

“Please, Rika. I beg you,” his voice trembles slightly but his grasp of my hands is firm. “Please don’t leave us. Don’t leave the RFA.”

“Jihyun,” I address the man, the one whose unceasing warmth and light has shielded me through my darkest days. I look solemnly into his teary eyes, aware that both his eyes are nearly blind — a morbid proof of his unwavering loyalty and love for me.

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ “You just don’t understand. This has to be done. Countless people are waiting to be saved through Mint Eye, and they all need me as their Saviour!” _  
[X] _ “I’m sorry. You’re right. Mint Eye isn’t the solution.” _

“Rika,” Jihyun looks at me with widened eyes and loosens his grasp on my hands. “Does that mean…?”

I bend down and embrace him softly in my arms. “I’m sorry, Jihyun.” Tears roll down my cheeks uncontrollably. “You’ve been right all along. I’m a fool to believe that Mint Eye will be our salvation.” A few hours ago, I was still adamant about building my Mint Eye kingdom. Yet, at this very moment, I am deeply convinced that it will only bring grief and sadness eventually, which is entirely opposite of what I wanted to achieve from the start. I am not sure how I know that my conviction is correct; I just know.

“It’s okay, Rika.” He returns my embrace by holding me closer to him. Caressing my blonde hair gently, he continues to speak in his usual comforting tone that has lulled my fears and worries to sleep many a night. “I’m glad… I’m just so glad that you decide to stay with us.”

“I’m sorry.” I apologise once more and hug him tighter as if I have not felt his reassuring touch for years. For some odd reason, I feel like I have missed him for a very long time. Has it really been that long since I was last enveloped by his scent and warmth?

“It’s okay. As long as you’re here with us, the RFA can start over again.” His words are as kind as I have always remembered them to be.

Still sobbing, I bury my face into his broad shoulders. “Yes, let’s begin RFA afresh.” Despite my paranoia and insecurities, something in my heart tells me that I can put my complete trust in this man I am hugging so dearly right now. He may be almost blind, but he sees things farther and clearer than I can. “Jihyun…”

“Yes, Rika?”

“I want to return Saeran to his brother.”

“You will?” He gasps audibly.

“Yes, but with what I had done to him…” Pangs of guilt assault me as I recall all the unspeakable things I have done to prepare my ultimate Paradise. “I don’t know, I want to but… I’m scared, Jihyun.” I close my eyes tightly, afraid to imagine what awaits me down the road. Should I have kept mum and pretend that everything will sort itself on its own with time? No, they will still know the truth in the end and they will hate me even more when they learnt that I have hidden this from them.

“Ah…” He understands my conflicted feelings. “Things with the twins may not be easy to resolve, but rest assured that I’ll be with you through it all.”

“Thank you.” I whisper as I slowly succumb to the drowsiness that has crept up on me soon after I felt the heavy burden on my shoulders being lifted off. Is this going to end up a mere dream? I pray not.

**— V —**  
_ Five daffodils blooming under the Sun _

Once he spots me exiting the consultation room, Jihyun approaches me from where he was sitting in the waiting area and asks, “How did it go?”

I shake my head and sigh. “The therapy isn’t helping at all. In fact, it’s making me recall all the horrible past that I want to erase from my memories.”

“Oh…” He looks crestfallen upon hearing my unsuccessful psychological therapy session. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ “See? I’ve told you it’s useless! Why must you insist on dragging me here? What a waste of time!” _  
[X] _ “It’s not your fault. You only wanted to help me.” _

“Let’s not give up, alright?” He holds my hands in his. “If this doesn’t work, let’s find another.”

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ “No, don’t bother anymore. Any other will be the same as this.” _ _  
_ [X] _ “...” _

Still upset from my session that has stirred up the painful memories that I had buried for many years, I gave no response to his suggestion.

“So,” he speaks hesitantly when he notices that I am not replying to him. “Let’s go for lunch, shall we?”

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ “Are you joking? How would I still have the appetite after going through that traumatising session you recommended?” _  
[X] _ “...” _

“Rika?” He tugs at my hands gently and looks at me with concern. “Are you feeling alright?”

I slowly look down toward my feet, gloom still looming over my heart and face. “I want to go home.”

“But lunch?”

I shake my head lethargically. “I’ve no appetite.”

“Oh.” He pauses for a while, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. “Okay, let’s head home to rest, then.”

I nod and follow him as he leads us back. On the way, neither of us speaks. Mentally exhausted from the therapy, I am somewhat relieved for this moment of silence. Yet, worries continue to hammer into my head as we walk.

Could he be tired of trying to communicate with me because I have been ignoring him today? Was I rude to ignore his questions when he was simply worried about me? Has he finally had enough of me and my mental illnesses? I knew it; he must have had enough of me! After all, who will love a broken soul who does not even love herself? I have been kidding myself all along. My parents abandoned me. My adoptive parents did not want me. And God has long forsaken me. What makes me think Jihyun will truly love me?

Overwhelmed by my train of thoughts that continues on relentlessly, I stop in my tracks and cry. The torrent of emotions pour themselves out as suddenly as the thoughts do.

“Rika!” He hurries to me, his voice expressing alarm and panic. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.” I try hard to smile as I wipe away my tears frantically with my palms. But for some reason, the tears will not stop.

‘How shameful! An adult crying in public under broad daylight? How old does she think she is? Even my two-year-old daughter doesn’t cry like that at home. Tsk, she must be crying for attention. Pathetic!’ I can hear the hushed voices of passers-by echoing in my mind. ‘Haha, no wonder she’s abandoned. If she were my child, I’ll renounce her as well. No one in their right mind will love such a twisted person! _I know, right? Say, let’s do the entire world a deed and eliminate her for good. Who's with me?_ **I agree with you!** **_Me too!_** Yes, let’s turn her to ash! _To hell with Rika!_ **_To hell with Rika!_** **To hell with Rika!**’

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” I scream as my earlier melancholy boils into pure rage. Cupping my hands over my ears and squeezing my eyes shut, I keep repeating the same phrase over and over, trying to drown out the voices in my head with mine.

“I’m here. I’m right here, Rika.” With my eyes still closed, I feel myself getting pulled into someone’s arms. Paranoid that they are somebody with harmful intentions, I punch wildly at the person with all my strength and try to wiggle myself out of their arms. However, they hold me even closer. “It’s me, Jihyun.”

“Ji..hyun…?” Like magic, the mention of his name grounds me back to the present. Still dazed from my sudden meltdown, I slowly look up in the direction of the familiar voice. I feel a desperate need to confirm with my own eyes that the person is indeed him.

“Yes, Rika. It’s me, Jihyun.” He smiles gently when my eyes met his. His turquoise eyes are full of worry and bewilderment. “I’m right here, Rika.”

Then, I notice an unsightly bruise at the corner of his upturned lips. It must have been from my attacks just now. Tears well up in my eyes while a mixture of embarrassment, disappointment, and self-loathe well up in my heart. “I’m sorry, Jihyun! I didn’t mean to!”

“It’s okay. I’m fine, Rika.”

“Why didn’t you stop me from punching you?”

“Well,” he contemplates for a while before answering. “Your punches are too fast and furious.”

“Is that supposed to be funny?”

He shrugs, a sheepish smile on his face. His posture relaxes now that he sees that I was out of my meltdown.

I smiled faintly at him, amused at his silliness and touched by his consideration for me at the same time. “Jihyun, you’ve always been so good to me. I really don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“What’re you saying? You’re no burden to me, Rika.”

“Maybe you don’t think I am but…” I heave a sigh. “Anyway, I’ll continue to seek treatment.”

“Ah, that’s good! Let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.”

“Sure,” I say as I gently place my hand in his, allowing our fingers to entwine together. Even though I may never understand why he will foolishly choose to stay with someone like me, I am grateful for his presence. “Thank you for never giving up on me, Jihyun.”

**— IV —**  
_ Four daffodils waiting for us to meet _

This is not the first art exhibition that I have attended. However, this is the first time I am deeply captivated by an artwork displayed in the exhibition.

I do not know how much time has passed since I stood in front of this framed photograph of dandelions. In it, the white florets soar freely under the vast blue sky, each one like a little bird carrying an important message to be delivered to someone precious. Something about the picture brings warmth to my soul and it is the kind of warmth that I have been craving for. Indeed, I believe I am addicted. Today is the second consecutive day I have come to let my soul feast upon this splendid masterpiece.

As I immerse myself in the serenity in the photo, I begin to wonder what kind of a person its photographer is. So far, I only know that their name is V. The golden plaque below the picture is inscribed with the title along with the photographer’s name: ‘Wishes’ by V. Although I have been viewing their work for several hours for two days now, I have yet to meet the photographer in person. Other artists have stepped forward to introduce their respective works to their audiences during the exhibition but this mysterious photographer is nowhere to be seen.

Thinking that I will never get to know the person who took the captivating photo, I sigh quietly in disappointment. I glanced at my wristwatch. There is half an hour left until the exhibition closes.

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ Unwilling to part with my source of warmth, I continue to admire the photograph. _  
[X] _ Fuelled with warmth from the photograph, I prepare to head home. _

As I get near the exit, I stop by the front desk and ask the receptionist if I could leave a written note for the exhibitor whom I never got to meet.

“Sure, Miss. You may leave your message for them on this memo pad here.”

“Thank you.” I receive the notepad and pen from the receptionist and start to pen down my message. I thought I would have a difficult time thinking of what to write but to my surprise, the words flowed smoothly on their own:

Hello V, I’m one of the visitors to the art exhibition. Regretfully, we didn’t have a chance to meet in person. Nevertheless, I’d like to express my admiration for your work ‘Wishes’. Like the sun, the photograph has brought much warmth to me. I wish I could thank you in person for capturing that serene scene that has filled me with strength and hope, but I’m afraid this short note will have to suffice for now. Thank you, V. May the dandelions help your career soar to even greater heights by the time we finally have a chance to meet.  
– Miss Kim Rika

After instructing the receptionist that the note is intended for V, I promptly take my leave. My steps are light when I exit the venue. I cannot fathom the reason but I sincerely believe it is for the best that we did not get to meet that day.

**— III —**  
_ Three daffodils celebrating friendship _

“How’s Sally been, noona _ (older sister) _?” The brown haired teenager asks concernedly.

“Her eyesight is deteriorating due to cataracts,” I share the unpleasant information with my younger cousin as I hug my precious pet dog close to my chest. Gently, I comb my fingers through Sally’s golden silky fur. “Because of that, she’s been less active lately.”

“Aw, I’m sorry to hear that.” His violet eyes are filled with sadness as he looks at Sally who is nestling snugly in my arms.

“I suppose it’s part and parcel of life,” I say with a heavy heart. Every time Sally’s cloudy eyes look up to me, I cannot help but feel sorry for her. Years ago, she was abandoned alone on the streets when she was still a puppy. Now, she cannot get the best care because her current owner is a poor pauper. “The vet did mention that it’s possible for Sally to regain her eyesight through surgery. But it’ll cost a huge sum of money.”

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ It is totally out of my financial means. I wish I can help her but it is just not possible. _  
[X] _ Still, I hope there is some way I can help her. _

“Argh,” he winces when he hears the part about expensive treatment costs. “The issue is always with money, huh? Ah, if only we’re born with silver spoons in our mouths…”

“Hush, Yoosung,” I react sternly to his passing comment. “Don’t say such things. Your parents have worked their hardest to provide you with what they can.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that I’m ungrateful for my parents or that I wish I was born in a rich family,” he looks down in embarrassment when he realises what his words could have implied. “I was merely thinking that our current problem will be solved easily if we were rich.”

“I know that too,” I look at Sally who is still listening intently to our conversation. “But dreaming about alternative realities won’t help.”

“You’re right, noona,” Yoosung nods in agreement. “We should focus on what we can actually do instead of dwelling on those countless ‘if only’.”

“Yes,” I try to smile but my smile soon fades as my heart weighs heavy with worries about Sally once again. I still do not have any good solution in mind to help my beloved pet.

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ I give up; I have tried my best. Nothing I come up with seems feasible. I will let nature take its course. _  
[X] _ I may not be able to think of a good solution by myself but I believe a viable solution does exist out there. _

After a few minutes of silence between us, my cousin voices his idea. “Why don’t we set up a crowdfunding for Sally’s treatment?”

“Crowdfunding?”

“Yeah! It doesn’t cost to set up a crowdfunding post, and people who wish to help Sally can donate any amount they can afford. I think that could help us cover part of Sally’s surgery costs. And if there’s still amount in shortage, then…” He pauses, thinking seriously. “Well, we can surely still do some other fundraising activities.”

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ I reject this idea. It involves the help of too many people whom I do not want to trouble for my personal problem. _  
[X] _ I will give this idea a try. I will be getting help from other people, but it is necessary for I know I cannot do this on my own. I will remember their kindness and repay their help in one way or another. _

Sally gives a few short happy barks after Yoosung has finished presenting his idea.

“Uh… So, does Sally like the idea or not?” He scratches his head, unsure how he should decipher Sally’s vocal response to his suggestion.

Seeing Yoosung’s confused expression, I cannot help but giggle. “Of course she likes it! Let’s try crowdfunding for Sally’s treatment.”

“Alright! I’ll set up the page this weekend!”

After thanking Yoosung for his help, I return my attention to my loyal Sally. She nuzzles my neck with her snout as I gently pet her head. “You’ll be saved, Sally. You’ll be saved.”

**— II —**  
_ Two daffodils torn between light and dark _

No matter how hard I try, I cannot get her to even look at me in the eyes. Even his eyes are the same as hers — always averted, cold and unaffectionate. Both of them, my adoptive parents, clearly do not love me. Why, then, have they adopted me?

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ It is entirely my fault that they are like this. I am a jinx who only brings misfortune to others close to me. Maybe they are right; Satan is in me. _  
[X] _ Not everything will work out perfectly in life. I have tried everything I can to be their best daughter, but they acknowledged neither my effort nor me. Perhaps, this ‘family’ is just not meant to be. _

Still, it hurts so much. Is it really too much to ask for loving adoptive parents? Why does nothing go well in my life? God, what do I have to do to simply have a normal family like the other children do? I am already at my wits’ end.

CHECKPOINT  
[ ] _ Let me drown in darkness. There is nothing left for me to hope for in this world where everyone has forsaken me. _  
[X] _ I thirst for light. I refuse to be consumed by the darkness my world has enveloped me within. _

I know the fight is not going to be easy at all. It will be long and tiresome, and my will and strength will be knocked out of me several times along the way. I will feel lonely and I will doubt my choice. Nevertheless, something burns in me, telling me it will all be worth it in the end.

With that, I continue to move on.

**— I —**  
_ The first daffodil: Love her tenderly _

I used to read a book. On the final page, it poses this particular question to the reader: ‘What is your biggest wish?’

I think I have wished for quite a number of things. There have been times when I wished that I was born a different person. Sometimes, I even wished I have never been born in the first place. Plenty of times, I have wished to have a normal family. I have also wished that my Prince Charming can come and save me from my ordeal soon.

But what is my biggest wish?

Maybe, all in all, what I have been searching for is simply a home, an inviting and accepting home that loves me for who I am. A home that will embrace my ugly scars even if they will never heal. A home that will believe in me even when the entire world only sees the faults in me. A home that I belong to.

Thus, I wish there will be a day when I can finally say —

“Welcome home, Rika.”


End file.
